The Quiet Scream: Internal Battles, External Calm

2 Hrs Ago 15
The Quiet Scream: Internal Battles, External Calm
Credit Pixabay

By: Staff Contributer

You know those folks who say things like "don’t waste your time" or "it’s a lost cause"? They often don’t realize that they’re part of both the problem and the solution. If they could just step up and make an effort to change, things would definitely improve. But instead, they see themselves as separate from the issue, thinking that change can only come from someone or something else. Sure, sometimes that’s true, but often, just making an effort to better yourself can be enough. At the end of the day, knowing you’ve done your best can give you a clear conscience, even if it doesn’t change the world around you.

It’s really frustrating to see people who are completely unaware of their own flaws, acting like they’re perfect when they’re far from it. I’ve held back from calling them out because it’s like they’re living in a bubble of delusion. How can someone not realize they’re not great at something yet act like they’re the best? Maybe it’s because I’m pretty hard on myself and have high expectations for both myself and others. It’s annoying when those same people are quick to point out your minor mistakes while they’re the ones with a whole laundry list of their own. It’s like they’re keeping score on your flaws while ignoring their own glaring issues.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the one who's out of touch or if it's everyone else. I chat with others, and they seem to share my feelings, yet no one speaks up about it. It’s like watching someone completely covered in mud point out a tiny smudge on my shirt. I mean, wouldn’t it make more sense for them to clean themselves up first? That’s why you see so many folks on social media acting like they’re perfect and ready to judge others. They should be careful, though; someone out there knows their true selves and might just call them out on their nonsense.

Lately, I've been riding a wave of emotions, feeling all over the place. I’m not about to self-diagnose, and my psychology studies aren’t helping much either, but if I didn’t know better, I’d think I was dealing with bipolar disorder. Its wild how something you adore can suddenly feel suffocating, leaving you in search of peace, only to find that silence can be overwhelming. I love my kids to bits, but they can drive me up the wall. I try to practice gentle parenting, but it’s a struggle, and I often lose my cool. The more I aim to be patient, the more frustrated I become. I find myself wishing I could be like those who manage to keep it together, even after a long day. Instead, I end up regretting my outbursts, caught in this exhausting cycle. Lately, I've been feeling like we could really use a rage room in Addis. There are moments when I just want to let out a good scream, you know?  It’s like the stress builds up, and I can’t help but think that a place to vent all that frustration would be perfect. Just imagine being able to shout as loud as you want without a care in the world!

A buddy of mine recently pointed out that I might be acting like a drama queen and suggested I should really focus on the good things in my life instead of fixating on my flaws. She reminded me, “You’re a fantastic mom; don’t let the occasional slip-ups get you down.” It’s totally normal not to be perfect all the time—nobody is! We all have our ups and downs, and it’s okay to have days when we’re not feeling our best. She mentioned that I might be blowing my feelings out of proportion and looking for reasons to feel bad, almost like I’m sabotaging myself. While that could be true, I believe that no one can really judge whether someone’s feelings are exaggerated because emotions are deeply personal.

The intensity of how I feel about a situation can be completely different from how someone else reacts. Sometimes, it only takes a tiny thing to tip someone over the edge, and we can’t always see the battles people are fighting in their minds. On the outside, they might seem perfectly fine, but inside, they could be struggling with a whirlwind of emotions. It often feels like the real challenge isn’t just dealing with others but rather managing our own thoughts. We humans tend to crave easy days and sunshine, and when a storm rolls in, it can feel like the end of the world, even when there are plenty of good things happening around us.

Lately, I've come to understand that when life is sailing along smoothly, we often lose track of just how long that calm has lasted. But the moment things get rocky, it can feel like we're sinking and that there's no way to come up for air. It's a wild contrast that really hits home when you're in the thick of it.

 I know it might seem a bit raw to share this, but we all have our off days filled with sadness and confusion. Anyone who claims they’re always fine and have everything figured out is probably just putting on a brave face because we all face our own battles. Sometimes, those struggles are internal, and that can be the toughest kind to deal with since it blurs the line between what's real and what's just in our heads. The key is to embrace those feelings, let them wash over you, and give yourself the time and kindness you deserve. Remember, feeling all these emotions is a sign of being alive, and that's something to appreciate.

 

 


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